Upgrade plan
Cancel plan
Settings
Change Password
Contact Us
[IN] What factors do courts use to decide custody between separating parents?
18
7
Full conversation
I am wanting to apply for a legal separation from my spouse while partaking in an in-home separation as our children are 7, 6, and 3. Is this possible? I'm in Indiana.
I understand that navigating a legal separation while considering your children's well-being can be challenging. Have you and your spouse discussed the terms of the separation, including custody arrangements for your children?
We've had two discussions. Tuesday we agreed to separate. He's moved into his office today. We've not got further than that, we also agreed to not be quick to anything as to not hurt the children through the process, though I've heard from others he's said, "I won't actually leave him." I want to make sure everything is done right and my children and I are protected. He was tested 16 years ago for borderline narcissistic personality disorder, when battling custody for his oldest daughter. I am the third woman he's had children with, but I'm the only one he married. It came out early on in a conversation that he married me so he could automatically get 50/50 custody. I plan to eventually fight for 70/30 as he does not do 50% of the home and childcare. He does closer to 10-20%.
Are there any specific concerns or issues regarding the separation that you would like to address?
I am financially dependent on him. I make $300 a week with the expectation of paying the grocery bill. I pay for my own phone, credit card bill, and two of our children's gymnastics. He makes $2,200 the first week and $700 the other weeks of the month. He pays the mortgage, electricity bill, internet bill, and private school for two of our children. He has 6 kids, and we have three together. He's already threatened to take our two boys out of the private school I work at and put them in a free public school that I do not work at. Money is my biggest fear through this.
Thank you for reaching out! My name is Jessica and I am a licensed attorney that will be assisting you with your question.
I understand you're dealing with a situation where you want to apply for a legal separation while considering an in-home separation due to your children's well-being. Have you considered any legal steps to address this situation?
I would like to take the legal steps, given how unfortunate the events of the marriage have been.
I understand that you want to take the necessary legal steps given the circumstances of your marriage. It's important to ensure everything is handled properly.
Could you tell me if you and your spouse have discussed any specific terms for the separation, like custody or financial arrangements? This will help me understand your situation better.
I have told him I intend to have 70/30 custody and to have custodial custody over them to maintain their regular life. He was bothered by this and said he'd never do that, but when I asked him if he felt like he did 50% of the work with the children or the home, he couldn't answer. Right now we have an agreement that he provides for the home bills and medical, and I buy the groceries and pay my own personal bills.
He pays for education bills as well right now. I will have a pay raise in May through August as I graduate and get my teaching license in May. Right now I'm completely financially dependent on him.
Thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, especially with financial dependency and custody concerns.
Have you taken any legal steps so far, like consulting with a lawyer or filing any paperwork? Or are there specific concerns you have about the separation process that you'd like to address?
I have not. This is my first time reaching out for legal advice. I think he's going to try and fight for custodial custody of the kids as I do. I'd like advice on whether I have a chance of winning 70/30 custody of our children.
Based on your situation, there are several legal arguments and considerations in Indiana that could potentially support your case:
In Indiana, child custody decisions are primarily based on the best interests of the child standard . This includes factors like the child's age and sex, the wishes of the child's parents, the child's relationship with each parent, and the child's adjustment to home, school, and community. The court also considers the mental and physical health of all individuals involved. (IN Code § 31-17-2-8)
Indiana law does not automatically favor one parent over the other for custody. Instead, it looks at who has been the primary caregiver and the ability of each parent to provide a stable environment. Financial dependency can be a factor, but it's not the sole consideration. The court will look at the overall ability of each parent to care for the children.
Please let me know if you have any further questions or need clarification.
I'm a private school elementary teacher, an active community leader, active in our church setting, mothering six children right now, while in online college to get my teaching license. He's depressed, will go to community events but leaves early without getting involved, doesn't recognize that he's addicted to video games, sometimes doesn't sleep because of the video games, and has some manipulative and odd parenting habits with his older kids (telling his ten year old daughter she needs to start acting like an adult, and venting his marital problems to his seventeen year old for the last two years).
I know I am the more secure, stable parent, but I don't know how to paint that picture with legal jargon. Part of why I agreed to the in-home separation is so I can monitor when he's not doing right by the children and help maintain the stability of their lives.
It's understandable that you're concerned about the custody of your children given the circumstances. Here's how you might approach this situation:
- Document Everything - Keep a detailed record of your involvement in your children's lives, including your role in their education, community activities, and daily care. This documentation can be crucial in demonstrating your active role as a primary caregiver.
- Consult a Family Law Attorney - Given the complexities of your situation, consulting with a family law attorney in Indiana can provide you with specific legal advice tailored to your case. They can help you understand your rights and the likelihood of obtaining 70/30 custody.
- Consider Mediation - If possible, consider mediation as a way to reach an agreement with your spouse regarding custody and financial arrangements. This can often be a less adversarial process than going to court.
- Prepare for Financial Independence - Since you mentioned a future pay raise, start planning for financial independence. This could involve budgeting or seeking financial advice to ensure you can support yourself and your children.
- Gather Evidence of Your Spouse's Behavior - If your spouse's behavior, such as video game addiction or inappropriate interactions with his older children, impacts his ability to parent effectively, document these instances. This information can be relevant in custody discussions.
Please let me know if you have further questions.
This works. Thank you.
I hope I was able to help resolve your issue! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.
Okay, thank you. I'm done.
Don't hesitate to reach out whenever you need assistance!
Disclaimer
By messaging FreeLegalAdvice.com, you agree to our Terms and have read our Privacy Policy.
The information provided on AskaLawyer.com is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. While we strive to ensure the accuracy and timeliness of the information presented, we make no guarantees regarding its completeness or applicability to your specific circumstances.
Use of this website does not create an attorney-client relationship between you and FreeLegalAdvice.com or any of its attorneys. Communications through this website, including any responses from attorneys, are not privileged or confidential. For advice tailored to your individual situation, we recommend consulting a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.
FreeLegalAdvice.com disclaims any liability for actions taken or not taken based on the content of this site. We are not responsible for any third-party content that may be accessed through this website. Reliance on any information provided herein is solely at your own risk.
